How you speak to your children when they are young can
resonate and echo in their minds for years to come, much into their teenage and
adult years. If we don’t instill in our young generation the virtues of
compassion, honesty, responsibility, and respect, we are dooming our future to
a bitter selfish world to live in. The way you communicate with your children
can also affect their sense of self-worth, individuality, and independence.
I went to the car wash the other day to get my car cleaned
and detailed. As I was waiting for my car to finish, I overheard a discussion
between what I am assuming to be a mother and daughter duo. The daughter had
tried on a pair of sunglasses, and was met with sarcasm from the mother figure
stating, “You think those are fashionable? I don’t think so. Those are (insert
curse word) ugly.” As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, once the daughter put
the glasses back where she found them, the mother insisted again, “You really
think those are fashionable? Go put them on again and see for yourself.”
In the snippet above, the mother clearly did not show any
compassion or respect to the daughter. Instead of praising her daughter for
picking out a pair of sunglasses and shifting her focus to a different pair
simply because the pair she had on didn’t complement her, she instead made
several negative comments. There is a fine line between helpful adult guidance
and using your authority to belittle and shame. All children want in their
younger years is to be loved, heard, and cared for. Constant negativity and
degradation will breed a hesitant and emotionally frightened child, and as a
result, affect their sense of self-worth.
Think twice before saying something that may be hurtful to
your child. Let your children take risks and encourage them to try new things.
Let them stand on their own two feet and make decisions for themselves (age
appropriate, of course). Coddling your child will not help them develop into
independent, self-providing individuals. Teach them fortitude so they never
give up on their dreams; exhibit charity and they will develop a habit of
helping others; provide justice so they can learn to be fair and equitable with
others.
As Elizabeth Joy (a member from Tumblr, 2013) wrote, ‘Children
raised with positivity are our thinkers, our leaders, and our creators… and
they are the ones who use their powers for good. You can create that kind of person with
careful parenting. Or you can
inadvertently crush a young soul with neglect or hostility…’ Which path would
you choose?
