Wednesday, January 20, 2016

To Divorce, or not to divorce?

​​As the divorce rate for the older generation increases, we continually ask the question “Should you stay in an unhappy marriage for the children, or choose the path of divorce?”  The debate over this question has definitely sparked an interest among people for many years. The reasons for a divorce are yours and yours alone. You should never do something that society believes is the ‘correct’ way, because there is no correct way. No one travels down the same path. However, there are a lot of factors to consider when determining whether or not divorce is the best option for you.

First and foremost, the biggest factor in determining whether or not to divorce is finances. We’ve heard it time and time again that finances is one of the top reasons spouses choose to divorce. In this regard, this mostly deals with one spouse not having strict control over their spending habits, forcing them to max out all their active credit cards.  However, the path to divorce is pretty pricey as well. If you retain a lawyer, you have to pay lawyer fees and consultation fees.  If you have children and choose divorce, one of you will likely have physical custody of your child. In that case, you will most likely have to consider spousal and child support. If you’re of the 25% of the 50 year and older generation that’s getting divorced, you have to consider the possibility that you may no longer have retirement funds, and you may have to go back to work. These are only a few examples of

If you’re not able to have an amicable divorce, then you will also have to consider lawyer and court fees. You will most likely have to take time out of your already busy schedule to find an attorney that you feel will appropriately represent you, unless you know you’re qualified to represent yourself in court. However, if you and your spouse can communicate effectively enough, and be cordial with each other, then a less expensive route is mediation. Mediation is when there is one or more neutral parties present to help resolve a matter brought forth.

Another factor to contemplate is how will it affect your family relationships? Some parents choose not to divorce for ‘the sake of the family.’ The truth of the matter is that it should always be in the best interests of the child. More times than not, parents believe that choosing to stay in a loveless marriage will benefit the children in the long run. However, that is only a myth. Children need a loving supportive system from both parents and if they are around a parenting duo that has a lot of hostility between each other, that child will not benefit much, if at all.

We hope to just shed some light on a few factors that you will have to contemplate on in order to make the best decision for you and your family. There is no clear right answer for everyone. The path to divorce is yours and yours alone to take. 

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