tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73546084596697076802024-03-19T15:09:41.641-07:00Family Care Monitoring ServicesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-63105597841198439342017-01-22T17:04:00.002-08:002017-01-22T17:04:57.687-08:00Supervised VisitationAre you in need of supervised visitation monitoring services? Perhaps this is your first time hearing about supervised visitation monitoring because a judge ordered you or your ex to hire a professional monitoring service. What exactly does this mean?<br />
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First and foremost, a judge normally will order professional monitoring services for the noncustodial parent for a variety of reasons, whether it is because they have demonstrated a lack of proper parenting skills, or have had allegations of abuse (physical, substance, sexual, emotional, etc). After the hearing, the judge or the clerk of the court will then hand the parties information explaining how to obtain this service and where to look. Many of the family court departments in the greater Los Angeles County area have informational brochures about the professional services we provide and how to promptly reach us.<br />
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Once a potential client reaches us and after going through the intake interview, the service coordinator will begin to set up visitation dates and times, according to your specific court order, if applicable. This can prove to be a challenge at times if there is no court order involved because our coordinator needs to find a time that is suitable for everyone, including the minor child. We have to take into consideration both parents' regular work schedule, plus miscellaneous appointments, and of course the school schedule of the minor child.<br />
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In addition, your court order should include the number of days and hours per week that the noncustodial parent can visit with the minor child AND whether or not they are allowed to be onsite or offsite. Finally, your visitation is scheduled and confirmed with both parties and the monitor. If you have a court order and this information is not included, you may need to speak with your attorney for further answers. Needless to say, this quality time offers the opportunity to develop and nurture the familial relationship between the noncustodial parent and minor child.<br />
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<b><i><u><br /></u></i></b>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><u>We do have a few guidelines that families need to follow while using our services.</u></i></b></div>
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If the visitation is onsite at our facility, then the noncustodial parent will arrive 15 minutes prior to the visitation commencing in the back of the parking lot; this is the same time the monitor will arrive to the back of the facility to bring the noncustodial parent up to the monitoring room. At the approximate hour, the monitor will then retrieve the minor child from the custodial parent and escort them to the monitoring room for the visitation. At the end of the visitation, the monitor will promptly escort the minor child down to the custodial parent. After the custodial parent has safely strapped the minor child into the car, they will immediately leave so the monitor can go back upstairs to wait with the noncustodial parent for an extra 15 minutes. <b>By allotting this 15 minute grace period before and after the visitation, it ensures that there will be no contact by either party. We require that the noncustodial parent arrive 15 minutes before the visitation commences, and waits for the entire 15 minutes at the end of the visitation to ensure that neither party sees each other.</b><br />
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Some parents have inquired as to whether or not we allow extended family members to participate in the visit. Our guidelines dictate that if it is stated in a court order, then we follow that court order. If the parties are insistent on having certain family members attend the visit and it is not specifically stated in the court order, then they will need to follow up with their attorney and possibly handle the matter in court. In the event that there is no court order, both parties have to agree that *certain* family members are allowed to attend the visit.<br />
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We try to promote a healthy atmosphere in our visitation rooms and request that only healthy items are brought to the visitation center. Some parents are peculiar about what items are off limits and have provided specific lists as to what food is acceptable.<br />
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The idea of gift giving also has its limitations. We have to maintain our neutrality at all times, so the only times that gift giving is allowed is for special occasions (Birthdays, Christmas, and first-time visits, within reason). We do not allow gift giving for every visitation because it creates an impression on the minor child that "I want to see X because they give me gifts all the time."<br />
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To ensure a positive visitation experience, we ask that the noncustodial parent turn their cell phones off during the visitation. This is time with your child, not time to talk on the phone to friends or family members. Even though you may not have seen your child in quite some time (and perhaps your extended family hasn't either), this is not a visitation for them. This is quality time that the noncustodial parent can have with their child. The only person that should have a cell phone on them is the monitor.<br />
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We have many families that use our onsite services to spend time with their child/children. We ask that you treat our facility the way you would your own house. Clean up after yourself and make sure the room is just they way it was when you first arrived. This will make us and all the other families much happier and more relaxed (or as relaxed as can be while being under close watch).<br />
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We are here to help families build relationships. Our ultimate goal is to see families have their monitoring lifted. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us today. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-87829036064595020632016-12-15T14:21:00.002-08:002016-12-15T14:21:11.842-08:00Holiday Traditions and Tips<div class="MsoNormal">
The holidays can be a difficult time for many individuals
and families. Often times, it’s a reminder of those who have gone on to greener pastures and bluer oceans. Its in these times that reaching out to your social network, including friends and family, is paramount. Remember you are never alone in your life path and there are people out there who love you unconditionally and are cheering you to the finish line, whatever that may be for you.<br />
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<o:p><br /></o:p>
<o:p>There are a plethora of other ideas that can tickle anyone's fancy, depending on the mood you're in, including:</o:p><br />
<br />
<o:p><b>Creating a Budget</b> Now, this sounds easier said than done for some people. In reality, you track your income, and subtract your monthly expenses, and other necessary routine transactions from your income. </o:p>I know...you may be thinking, "who wants to track their budget during
the holiday season?" Believe me, I totally get it. But, you've spent how
much money on gifts for family and friends, just on this holiday alone?
<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<b>Play Outdoors</b> As adults, we forget the concept of play. A lot of us spend so much time on our phones, just posting updates, reading articles, or </div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<b>Reading</b> This creative leisurely activity can take you anywhere you want in the world, based on what you're reading. If you're alone, why not read a mystery novel, which will keep you on your toes as long as you read it. If you're a fast reader like me, being able to 'solve' these many mysteries may be appealing for you, or maybe you enjoy the psychological thriller type novels. Nonetheless, there is a myriad of genres out there just waiting to be discovered.<br />
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<br />
<b>Greeting Cards</b> A lot of families partake in the Holiday Christmas Card Family Photo tradition. So why not start now? I'm sure your many dogs......cats....reptiles would very much appreciate it. Not to mention, if you are of a creative mindset, I'm sure your family and friends will get a chuckle about your creative holiday family photo.<br />
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<b>Play Games</b> Whether with a partner or not, games can be fun! I personally love PRANKING my roommates whenever I can -- Yes, this is a solo game only that benefits the humor of the Prankster, but still....lots of fun can be had here! But on a serious note, I know many families that enjoy 'family boardgames'; however, for those of you that are on the <i>single path</i> and enjoying time with friends closest to you, may I recommend the following games (some of these may be of a mature-type caliber).<br />
<ul>
<li>Monopoly - I grew up playing this game with my family. If you are a competitive person, along with your family, this can be a lot of fun and laughs for the whole family!</li>
<li>Cards Against Humanity - now there are many versions of this game, both naughty and nice -- I've come to learn that Google Search and Amazon is my <b>BEST FRIEND</b></li>
<li>Pictionary - simple fun game where you draw and sketch a topic from a card that the other team has to guess correctly.</li>
<li>Phase 10 - If I'm not mistaken, this game consists of 10 rounds, and you have to match your hand to whatever is listed for that particular round. </li>
<li>Magic, the Gathering - If you like card games, this is a great one to learn! In the game of Magic, you and your opponent are Planeswalkers, powerful mages each armed with a deck of Magic cards representing lands, creatures and spells. Each player summons creatures and casts spells, trying to knock the other down from 20 to 0 life and win the game.</li>
</ul>
Of course, if none of those strike your fancy, GOOGLE SEARCH will always be your friend, depending on what your search parameters are.<br />
<br />
<b>For you Video-Gamers:</b><br />
<br />
I've heard that <b>Twitch App</b> is the place to be! Upon downloading the app to your phone, you can watch your favorite players play online, through your phone! (whoever thought technology would come to this!) I discovered that many of the features you have to pay for to view (in addition, you can give the holiday gift of 'subscriber donations' to your favorite players you love to watch!<br />
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You can even dive into the game world inside your phone and never be lonely again! There are endless games to discover through Google Play on your mobile device.<br />
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Maybe you're the type that has an incredible computer gaming system you built yourself. Well, in that case, you already are aware of your most favorite platform games to play on your very own computer. For you parents that have young ones at home, if they are interested in playing computer games, have them navigate to <a href="http://www.myplaycity.com/" target="_blank">Play City</a> where they can pick and choose from any genre of game to play/download.<br />
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Maybe you like game consoles, like Wii-U, PS4 and XBox. Here are the most popular games that you can play on those consoles:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Mario </li>
<li>Dungeons & Dragons </li>
<li>Skyrim </li>
<li>The Witcher </li>
<li>Grand Theft Auto</li>
<li>World of Warcraft</li>
<li>Final Fantasy</li>
<li>Pokemon</li>
</ol>
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<br />
**DISCLAIMER PLEASE NOTE** I do not promote solely playing video games, as one should learn to be an active AND productive member of society. Please note, that neither are one in the same and should not conclude such inference.<br />
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**DISCLAIMER 2** The opinions in this article in no way constitute any such legal advice, and is the opinion of the author, only.<br />
<br />
**PLEASE NOTE** I welcome any advice and recommendations on what you find is enjoyable with family and/or friends.<br />
<br />
Email at familycaremonitoring@gmail.com if you want to add a game to this list or comment belowAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-72159966123545948432016-10-07T16:11:00.000-07:002016-10-07T16:11:21.938-07:00Joys Found in Sobriety<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The New Joys I Find in Life Now that I’m Sober: Recovering Addicts Share Their Stories</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img height="404" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/AWMnTE5CXF5jgICCUV7Gp7IpTKFs7rdrEUAjCYAk6_W-tjvJ-Z5uqlVAQML3B4V1w_BYxo_tCV08R759nR83wYiMHZNgMspeaQq9O8SHPhXp8q8FEqXzwgOCB6rmVZy8Ug0nTWTrC7NsuIELTA" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0.00rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0.00rad);" width="624" /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Photo from </span><a href="https://pixabay.com/en/cloud-sky-sun-twilight-blue-754672/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pixabay</span></a></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-1fdc442f-a168-78bb-37c2-38c103aacf26" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If the last few months or years of your life have been consumed by alcohol or drug abuse, it may seem impossible to imagine giving it up. When so much of the happiness you had was dependent on your habit, is there really a way to lead a satisfying life once you’re sober?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">According to the recovering addicts I spoke to, the answer is loud and clear: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">YES.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here are the insights a few recent drug rehabilitation graduates shared with me about finding happiness after treatment.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Focusing on the present moment</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You don’t have to be an addict to relate to things like dwelling over the past or worrying about the future. But Scott said that his time in rehabilitation at </span><a href="http://www.addictioncampuses.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Addiction Campuses</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">’ Mississippi facility taught him to focus on the time that matters most: right here and now.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I don’t think about tomorrow — it’s of no consequence to me right now. It will be when I wake up, but not right now. And yesterday is history. I’m only focused on today and right now,” he said.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Scott explained the importance of putting things into perspective, especially when it comes to maintaining your sobriety. You may not be able to predict the future, he said, but you can control the current moment:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I tell some newcomers to take it one hour at a time — you only have to stay clean for this hour. Then, eventually, hours will become days, days will become weeks, and weeks will become months. For me, that’s what works. That’s the program that works for me.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Realizing there are endless things to be thankful for</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For Ryan, it’s about looking at the details. He told me it’s easy to see a bad situation at its surface, but when you dig a little deeper you just might find a gift.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I look at the little stuff — the small, little positive stuff,” he explained. “Like when my tire blew out today: it’s a blessing that it didn’t blow out before I got onto I-40 driving back to Nashville — I would have really been in trouble. When my tire blew out, I was in my parents’ neighborhood, and was able to get it fixed safely before I got out on the road.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s OK to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">everyone </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">is allowed to have bad days. What’s important is putting everything into perspective: in the end, you probably have a lot to be grateful for, and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">those </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">are the things worth focusing on.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finding happiness in helping others</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Being an outlet for people has been my greatest joy in recovery,” said Lincoln, who now commits much of his time to sponsoring others on their journey to sobriety.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s a real sense of liberation in taking control of your own life, Lincoln explained, and paying it forward is a rewarding opportunity.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I love being able to reach out to someone who is struggling and being someone that people reach out to when they want a better life,” he said. “I wasn’t helpful to anyone when I was using, but now having people who rely on me and actually want to hear my opinion is amazing. It’s overwhelming.”</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-3757976247539358622016-09-16T12:02:00.000-07:002016-09-16T12:02:45.378-07:00Help Us Help You<div class="MsoNormal">
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With school now back in session, we have been experiencing
issues with clients regarding their regular visitation schedules. <b>Some parents are unwilling to be flexible
with the scheduled visitation time that is court ordered, or needs to be made up due
to previously cancelled visits; both parents making excuses to cancel or not
allow visitation schedules to proceed; etc</b>. All of these could be construed
as symptoms of possible problematic situations for both the Custodial parent (CP) and
Non-custodial parent (NCP).<o:p></o:p></div>
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It is our job to do our best to facilitate the court ordered
visits. Problematic situations can arise on occasion, but we do manage to
work them out. It is not our job to put ourselves in the middle of our client’s
feuds. We have to refer them back to their attorney’s to get assistance in
getting them back on track.<br />
<br />
It is our job to receive a completed intake package from each parent or party to the action. Not only is this a requirement of the <a href="http://www.courts.ca.gov/cms/rules/index.cfm?title=standards&linkid=standard5_20" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">court standard</span></a>, but it is necessary for us to do our job. Our service coordinator will go over the intake with you either over the phone or in person, however we recommend coming into the monitoring facility to get a feel for the environment and to get a complete understanding of the service we provide.<br />
<br />
We always encourage the custodial parent to check out the facility with their child, so they are able to feel comfortable and at ease with the rooms, and have a chance to play. We will also intake the child if they are old enough to understand. At that point in time, we also advise the child that if they at all feel uncomfortable, they can say a passphrase (that is created before the visitation schedule starts) to the monitor to notify them that they need to step away from the current situation. At that time then the monitor will inquire as to what made them uncomfortable and see how it can be improved.<br />
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We also need copies of current court orders, temporary restraining orders, or any other court documents that give us the important information that we are required to have and to pass on to each active monitor on the case. It is important that we receive all copies of past and current court orders so we can gather the background history. Details such as flight risk, domestic abuse, and relationship history is all imperative for us to understand how to handle your case, however it does not stop there. There are many times when a court order is not complete -- or rather, the court order is quite vague. For example, the Court may have ordered 4 hours of visitation time per week for the non-custodial parent. The service coordinator needs to then reach out to both parents to reach a mutual agreement on visitation times. With school starting back up, that puts limits on the days that the child is available. </div>
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It is also important to be reminded that although we try to
offer a family friendly visitation environment, it may not always be that way.
Sometimes the children may not be having a good day and the NCP needs to be
aware and open to that possibility. They must always allow the children to say
what they need to and not over react. The monitor will find a way to re-direct
the conversation if what the child is saying becomes hurtful and causes the non-custodial parent to overreact. In this type of environment, the families are in a fish bowl. Having people look into your family privacy and lifestyle can feel pretty awkward. Our monitors are not mediators; they are to remain neutral at all times, and not take sides with either parent or show any type of preferential treatment. They are present to provide a neutral environment to ensure the safety of all persons on a visitation.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-70143480928749053202016-09-06T10:32:00.000-07:002016-09-06T10:36:24.202-07:00Put On Your Happy Face<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Image result for happy face" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a8/77/46/a877463c8ff55d5dbd531826356d319c.jpg" /><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Marriage does not guarantee you will be together forever -- It's only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in your relationship to make it last." </blockquote>
</div>
Separating from a loved one can be quite painful, yet freeing for both spouses. For those couples who cannot amicably settle their conflicts, there is the added frustration of going to court, having to deal with court and legal fees, and possibly child custody. Statistically speaking, divorce occurs more often than not as a result from financial or communication issues and their reasoning for wanting a divorce is because they didn't see the demon under the mask their spouse was hiding behind.<br />
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When a family goes through a separation, the lifestyle and routine of that family is ultimately uprooted as they now have to discover a new living dynamic. The break in routine is quite often very difficult to accept. Mommy and daddy are no longer living together. The child is angry and lonely; feeling as if they were the cause of the sudden reality shift. We as humans are creatures of habit and we do what we are familiar with. However, the path to a happier you is learning to let go of the past and begin to move forward because the only thing that you can focus on is you, and the health and safety of your child(ren). <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">We all make mistakes, and sometimes there's just no way to go back and fix them. But we can move forward, wiser and more in control of our own lives. You have to take care of yourself first before being able to completely move forward in a positive direction. </span></span></div>
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As Mary Krauel (Blogger with Divorce Magazine, and Mediator with PRM Mediation) very eloquently stated in her article <u><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Separation and Divorce Means You are No Longer a Married Couple</span></span></u><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">,</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> "There is no 'off' switch". She further writes "there has to be some kind of balance" for couples going through separation. Let me give you some advice; there actually is help all around! You just need to be willing enough to ask or look for it -- and yes, perhaps you will need to open your wallet too. We may live in the 'Land of the Free', but (reality check) nothing in this world is free. You can hire a mediator to help settle disagreements between you and your spouse. Attorney and legal fees may have to be paid if settlements are handled in court. A variety of classes can be ordered by the court for completion in order for them to evaluate who is fit to be legal and physical custodian of the child. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Here are 7 tips to help guide you in maintaining your happy face in the midst of such uncertainty and heartbreak. </span></span></div>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Expect that your children may feel confused, guilty, sad, and/or
abandoned in response to the divorce. Acknowledge their feelings as
normal and remind them that even though the family is undergoing a major
change, you and ex-spouse or ex-partner will always be their parents. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Don't badmouth the other parent in front of the child. </span></span>Do not use body language, facial expressions, or other subtleties to
express negative thoughts and emotions about the other parent. Your
child can read you! </li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Maintain as many security anchors as possible for your child</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></span>Establish a business relationship with your former spouse. The business is the co-parenting of your child.</li>
<li> Transfers can be painful times. Be kind and patient with each other and your children. </li>
<li>Never put your children in a position where they have to choose between their parents or decide where their allegiance lies. </li>
<li>Divorce, in itself, will not destroy your children. It is your reaction
to the divorce that has the power to destroy their coping mechanisms. </li>
</ol>
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<span style="text-align: center;">Quote from <a href="http://www.womenworking.com/">WomenWorking</a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-15815978011533836742016-09-06T10:24:00.001-07:002016-09-06T10:29:07.339-07:00A Guide for Loved Ones of Sexual Assault Victims<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eb2a2298-0087-1b69-6e10-7058bc4f2b53"><span style="font-family: "calibri"; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="../../../../girl-1149933_640.jpg" height="203" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/Br5z9RBSE4yJRlv7An2qT805k2Wu5NyYY8QZriokn-YdGgcedDD9ziDUXSp_wVmL5yXT6RXKnPlqC59zn6o39O5SdoQ4goVcxbgQ-vq1z_maiVK1ndXiQ9Edmus8FJfKH28It4lhE2OLr7DeJg" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0.00rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0.00rad);" width="305" /></span></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Authored by: Steve Johnson</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Victims of sexual assault have so much to process and cope with after the violence ends that they can struggle for years to heal and approach life in a confident, positive way. The trauma of sexual assault takes a great deal of time to overcome because of the mental, physical, and spiritual </span><a href="http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/sexual-assault-rape/effects-sexual-assault-and-rape" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">effects</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> on the victim. Sadly, sexual assault is closely linked to </span><a href="http://www.suicide.org/rape-victims-prone-to-suicide.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">suicide</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">: approximately 33% of rape victims have suicidal thoughts and 13% of rape victims attempt suicide. Loved ones of sexual assault victims need to be aware of the warning signs of psychological and emotional effects and substance abuse that can lead to suicide and of the best practices for supporting victims so they can help them heal, cope, and live in healthy ways.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-eb2a2298-0086-c886-1e56-c652114ab178" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Psychological and Emotional Effects of Sexual Assault and Rape</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sexual violence has </span><a href="https://www.rainn.org/effects-sexual-violence" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">psychological and emotional</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> effects on survivors. These effects often include depression, flashbacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Depression – A mood disorder that occurs when feelings of sadness and hopelessness continue for extended periods of time, </span><a href="http://www.stars-elpaso.org/get/effects-of-sexual-assault" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">depression</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> affects a person’s behavior and relationships with others. While it is normal for sexual assault survivors to feel sad and hopeless, it is not normal for those feelings to persist for long periods of time. Depression is a serious disorder, and if you suspect that your loved one is suffering from depression, you should encourage her to get help from a professional.</span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Signs and symptoms of depression include prolonged sadness and unexplained crying episodes, significant weight changes or changes in appetite, loss of energy, persistent fatigue, drastic changes in sleep patterns, loss of interest in activities, social withdrawal, feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness, and unexplained physical aches and pains. To help the sexual assault survivor, you could look into getting a </span><a href="https://www.rover.com/blog/service-dogs-depression-anxiety/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">service dog</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> that is specially trained to help with anxiety and depression. </span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Flashbacks – Flashbacks occur when memories of a previous trauma feel as though they are taking place in the present. For survivors, it can feel like the sexual violence is happening again and again, and they feel as though their assailant is physically present. While flashbacks are a typical response to trauma, there are </span><a href="http://www.aftersilence.org/flashbacks.php" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">steps</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> a survivor can take to manage them:</span></div>
</li>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remind the sexual assault survivor that the feeling is not real and it will pass.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remind the survivor she is strong and survived the first time and will survive the flashbacks.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Help the survivor breathe in and out slowly and deliberately. She should concentrate on taking deep breaths.</span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Help the survivor establish where she really is by using her senses to bring her back to reality. Help her use her senses to come back to the present.</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Move the survivor to a place that makes her feel secure and comfortable.</span></div>
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</ul>
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<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – Post-traumatic stress disorder (</span><a href="http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/PTSD-overview/women/sexual-assault-females.asp" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">PTSD</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">) can occur in anyone as a result of a traumatic event. Survivors of sexual violence experience unusual stress, fear, anxiety, and nervousness, but when they become extreme and make it difficult to function day to day, the survivor most likely is suffering from PTSD. One study found that nearly 33% of rape victims develop PTSD at some point. Symptoms of PTSD include repeated thoughts of the assault, memories, nightmares, avoiding situations relating to the assault, negative changes in thoughts and feelings, irritability, difficulty sleeping and concentrating, and jumpiness. </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Substance Abuse and Sexual Assault</span></div>
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<a href="http://safehelpline.org/effects-of-sexual-assault/substance-abuse" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Substance abuse</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is a concern for victims of sexual assault. Women often report using substances to control symptoms that arise as a result of the assault. In fact, sexual assault victims turn to drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism: one study found that rape victims are three to four times more likely to use marijuana, six times more likely to use cocaine, and ten times more likely to use other drugs as non-victims.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are </span><a href="http://www.drugrehab.org/the-45-warning-signs-of-prescription-drug-abuse/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">warning signs</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> of drug abuse that loved ones should be aware of if they are concerned that a sexual assault victim is abusing drugs or alcohol. Be vigilant if she is irritable, has sudden mood swings, is forgetful or clumsy, skips work or other regular activities, lies or avoids eye contact, loses interest in personal appearance or activities she once loved, has a major appetite changes, has extreme or sudden change in friends, suddenly asks to borrow money, or becomes angry and abusive.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Emotional and psychological effects of sexual assault and substance abuse are manageable for a sexual assault victim, especially if she has loving and supportive family and friends. By being aware of the warning signs and knowing how to offer support to a sexual assault victim, you can help her avoid suicidal thoughts and behaviors. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Steve Johnson</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> co-created PublicHealthLibrary.org as part of a school project. He and a fellow pre-med student enjoyed working on the site so much that they decided to keep it going. Their goal is to make PublicHealthLibrary.org one of the go-to sources for health and medical information on the web. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Image via </span><a href="https://pixabay.com/en/girl-woman-emotions-expressions-1149933/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #0563c1; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pixabay</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> by Unsplash</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-61396042725458095522016-03-31T13:32:00.003-07:002016-09-06T10:37:26.415-07:00Practice What You Preach"Pay It Forward." "Actions Speak Louder Than Words." We hear that phrase all the time, throughout the course of our lives, but what does it mean? It means take action and follow through on what you say. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.<br />
<br />
I have been living on Mother Earth now for over three decades. Yes, I am still young and have a lot to learn and experience in this life. Here's what I know. The world is full of hatred and greed. Children no longer play outside with their friends. Guns are brought to school. Kids now have to practice terrorism safety in classrooms. I have said for years that there needs to be more kindness and gratitude in the world. So many people are consumed in selfish behaviors that they willingly ignore the quiet pleas of help from their community.<br />
<br />
I was driving into work today on the infamous 405 freeway. Currently, for the next few months, the Victory Exit is closed on that freeway, and as a result, Californians can expect traffic delays. As we all know, this is right near the interchange between the 405 and 101 -- <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEWkmvXi_VZLZFfqoPmla4K_ZNVeXIRxpmMYCbhQsljYzOdXqZyvtOQwy6orlaTkeycFfy6nOkHq2EDF_ZWtEt-zlaWNE5ZI51sVSuOYMw4zlBDp3ML2eqkhZjs_bpAY5_Pq60OJOwoKVC/s1600/freeway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEWkmvXi_VZLZFfqoPmla4K_ZNVeXIRxpmMYCbhQsljYzOdXqZyvtOQwy6orlaTkeycFfy6nOkHq2EDF_ZWtEt-zlaWNE5ZI51sVSuOYMw4zlBDp3ML2eqkhZjs_bpAY5_Pq60OJOwoKVC/s320/freeway.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
-- which is a hell-ish area for many commuters. As I was stopped waiting to exit the freeway, all of a sudden I heard screeching tires, and immediately saw a bunch of smoke. I pulled off to the side of the road immediately, and ran out of my car over towards the scene. An older lady had been hit from behind and the force of the hit pushed her into the tow truck in front of her. I saw smoke slowly billowing from the front of her car and the door frames. I rushed to the passenger door to see if the door would open. The lady was so shaken up, that she couldn't unlock the door. I ran over to the driver's door to open it and get her out of the car. As I am certified in CPR and First Aid, I immediately asked her if she was in any pain, and if she could move. She appeared to move easily, and I got her safely away from her vehicle to the side of the road and assisted her as needed. I then called 911 to get CHP on scene as fast as possible. Once CHP arrived, they advised me that I did not need to be there anymore.<br />
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If you say there needs to be more love, respect, and comfort in the world, be that few percentage of people that will reach out to help other people. We are the change for the future. It may take a long time to make a difference, but it takes one person to be that inspiration for other people. I didn't have to stop and be of assistance. I did not need to be of service to another human being. I do however have a busy life with many responsibilities placed upon my shoulders. However, it only takes a minute to decide that you want to help, and be the change that this world needs. So practice what you preach.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-85412373893299601282016-01-24T16:29:00.000-08:002016-01-24T16:29:19.131-08:00Today's Virtue: Wear Ugly Glasses<div class="MsoNormal">
How you speak to your children when they are young can
resonate and echo in their minds for years to come, much into their teenage and
adult years. If we don’t instill in our young generation the virtues of
compassion, honesty, responsibility, and respect, we are dooming our future to
a bitter selfish world to live in. The way you communicate with your children
can also affect their sense of self-worth, individuality, and independence. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBj6o-9dXff4nS0lrexJLgzfReRL4YAVmJN4-aktN5YR9GT4I_yS128oitGVVAJl9XSTRhg42WJTWVYcKa__BsYwF4qfzWW_F4aZb2PYEEJRVm679GZw0KMS2pTCOh74lDFpC8aVcJVouc/s1600/Cold+Apple+Juice.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBj6o-9dXff4nS0lrexJLgzfReRL4YAVmJN4-aktN5YR9GT4I_yS128oitGVVAJl9XSTRhg42WJTWVYcKa__BsYwF4qfzWW_F4aZb2PYEEJRVm679GZw0KMS2pTCOh74lDFpC8aVcJVouc/s1600/Cold+Apple+Juice.png" /></a></div>
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I went to the car wash the other day to get my car cleaned
and detailed. As I was waiting for my car to finish, I overheard a discussion
between what I am assuming to be a mother and daughter duo. The daughter had
tried on a pair of sunglasses, and was met with sarcasm from the mother figure
stating, “You think those are <i>fashionable</i>? I don’t think so. Those are (insert
curse word) ugly.” As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, once the daughter put
the glasses back where she found them, the mother insisted again, “You really
think those are fashionable? Go put them on again and see for yourself.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIfI0DTFqwVqn4KTdKYlxxWUpYwcCEuzH9i-ZtGN7pyKBUGptKdHMIKVO7c3NVr92-ETO2qEPbvn9fTfl2btNKjC8NlOTvVf5Sn4O70ACDEzkvhkELYTH_kW8TqdDgdN6N4XLz8nOqGuDz/s1600/Ugly+Glasses.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIfI0DTFqwVqn4KTdKYlxxWUpYwcCEuzH9i-ZtGN7pyKBUGptKdHMIKVO7c3NVr92-ETO2qEPbvn9fTfl2btNKjC8NlOTvVf5Sn4O70ACDEzkvhkELYTH_kW8TqdDgdN6N4XLz8nOqGuDz/s320/Ugly+Glasses.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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In the snippet above, the mother clearly did not show any
compassion or respect to the daughter. Instead of praising her daughter for
picking out a pair of sunglasses and shifting her focus to a different pair
simply because the pair she had on didn’t complement her, she instead made
several negative comments. There is a fine line between helpful adult guidance
and using your authority to belittle and shame. All children want in their
younger years is to be loved, heard, and cared for. Constant negativity and
degradation will breed a hesitant and emotionally frightened child, and as a
result, affect their sense of self-worth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Think twice before saying something that may be hurtful to
your child. Let your children take risks and encourage them to try new things.
Let them stand on their own two feet and make decisions for themselves (age
appropriate, of course). Coddling your child will not help them develop into
independent, self-providing individuals. Teach them fortitude so they never
give up on their dreams; exhibit charity and they will develop a habit of
helping others; provide justice so they can learn to be fair and equitable with
others. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As Elizabeth Joy (a member from Tumblr, 2013) wrote, ‘Children
raised with positivity are our thinkers, our leaders, and our creators… and
they are the ones who use their powers for good. You can create that kind of person with
careful parenting. Or you can
inadvertently crush a young soul with neglect or hostility…’ Which path would
you choose?</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-39104454893577597262016-01-20T17:07:00.001-08:002016-01-20T17:07:53.284-08:00To Divorce, or not to divorce?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">As the divorce rate for the older generation
increases, we continually ask the question “Should you stay in an unhappy
marriage for the children, or choose the path of divorce?” The
debate over this question has definitely sparked an interest among people for
many years. The reasons for a divorce are yours and yours alone. You should
never do something that society believes is the ‘correct’ way, because there is
no correct way. No one travels down the same path. However, there are a lot of
factors to consider when determining whether or not divorce is the best option
for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">First and foremost,
the biggest factor in determining whether or not to divorce is finances. We’ve
heard it time and time again that finances is one of the top reasons spouses
choose to divorce. In this regard, this mostly deals with one spouse not having
strict control over their spending habits, forcing them to max out all their
active credit cards. However, the path
to divorce is pretty pricey as well. If you retain a lawyer, you have to pay
lawyer fees and consultation fees. If
you have children and choose divorce, one of you will likely have physical
custody of your child. In that case, you will most likely have to consider
spousal and child support. If you’re of the 25% of the 50 year and older
generation that’s getting divorced, you have to consider the possibility that
you may no longer have retirement funds, and you may have to go back to work.
These are only a few examples of <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you’re not able to
have an amicable divorce, then you will also have to consider lawyer and court
fees. You will most likely have to take time out of your already busy schedule
to find an attorney that you feel will appropriately represent you, unless you
know you’re qualified to represent yourself in court. However, if you and your
spouse can communicate effectively enough, and be cordial with each other, then
a less expensive route is mediation. Mediation is when there is one or more
neutral parties present to help resolve a matter brought forth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Another factor to
contemplate is how will it affect your family relationships? Some parents
choose not to divorce for ‘the sake of the family.’ The truth of the matter is
that it should always be in the best interests of the child. More times than
not, parents believe that choosing to stay in a loveless marriage will benefit
the children in the long run. However, that is only a myth. Children need a
loving supportive system from both parents and if they are around a parenting
duo that has a lot of hostility between each other, that child will not benefit
much, if at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">We hope to just shed
some light on a few factors that you will have to contemplate on in order to
make the best decision for you and your family. There is no clear right answer
for everyone. The path to divorce is yours and yours alone to take. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-80259888658533216742015-11-12T15:24:00.003-08:002015-11-12T15:24:41.778-08:00Tips for the Holiday Season<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s that time of year again where we reflect on the
happenings this past year, and give thanks for the blessings we have in our
lives. We have the ability to have and keep shelter over the heads of ourselves
and our loved ones; we have friends and family to love and care for.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, the holidays are difficult for many other
families too, whether broken, widowed, or even perhaps both. There are a myriad
of paths that one can travel down. Some are lonely and paved with sadness. Your
path is what you make it out to be and we want to share with you some important
tips to keep in mind to keep you on your higher path of living and learning. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Tips for the New You<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Create new holiday
traditions</b>. If you have no loved ones to care for, why not help out others
in need and volunteer for a food drive. <a href="http://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/">Meals on Wheels</a> is a fantastic
cause and the older generation really appreciate it, especially when they have
no loved ones to visit with. Monday Night Mission is another wonderful
organization that was created to help feed the homeless on Skid Row in downtown
Los Angeles. Lastly, there are quite a few soup kitchens in Los Angeles that
cater to the homeless. What better way to pay it forward and make yourself feel
better by being of service to others and helping them? I started making DIY
ornaments to give out to those individuals who have helped me throughout the
year. Last year, I made Snowmen Ornaments. Still iffy on what to make this year
(either mini snow globes, or a reindeer candy cane-holder Christmas ornament …courtesy
of Quirkymomma.com). <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Take a Vacation</b>. Checkmark
that item off your ‘Bucket List’. I have heard many times from countless
friends that it’s always a benefit to yourself to go on a vacation by yourself.
Go on a Safari to Africa; see the kangaroos down under in Australia; take a
cruise to see the Alaskan Glaciers! Whatever you do, it allows you to feel free
and independent! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Take a Class</b>. It’s
always beneficial to keep your mind alert. Why not sign up for a class you’ve
been interested in? I personally have always wanted to take a math class (I
know, you’re probably rolling your eyes. You’re thinking, ‘but EVERYONE hates
math. I’m one of those few that actually enjoy math). Maybe you always dreamed
of being in theater? Now’s your time to act (pun intended lol)! <o:p></o:p></div>
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We even have some tips for those divorced couples who are
co-parenting. Don’t think that we left you off Easy Street! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Control Your Emotions</b>.
In the industry we are in, we see parents daily trying to take control of the
situation so the cards play out exactly how they like. Reality is, you should
be thinking about how your emotions and behavior impact your child. Argue
constructively – that means, argue with respect. You don’t have to raise your
voice to get your point across, or scream out profanities to the other person.
Contain your anger. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Keep Children out of
the Middle</b>. If you have something to say to your ex, don’t put your child
through that by having to be in the middle of your conflict. Be an adult and
say it, respectfully of course. It never did anyone any good to cause more
conflict and stay angry. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Keep Up with the
Times</b>. As you are well aware, we are a generation that is addicted to
technology. While we are not suggesting you teach your newborn infant the
functions of your latest iPhone, it is important to be able to communicate with
them when they are not residing with you. Yes, I am an avid Android user, so I
don’t have ‘Facetime’ like iPhone users, but there are other programs such as
Skype which can allow you to video-conference with your child. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-15520608902135550242015-10-24T09:06:00.001-07:002015-10-24T09:07:07.288-07:00Are Custody Exchange Zones Safe?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Family Care Monitoring
Services, Inc. (FCMS) is a member of the Supervised Visitation Network, a membership
organization of professionals who provide supervised visitation and supervised
exchange services to families at risk. FCMS and the Supervised Visitation
Network are deeply concerned with the new trend to offer “safe” exchange zones for
both merchandise purchased online and when divorced or separated parents
exchange custody of their children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the past week there
have been at least three violent episodes during custody exchanges at public locations,
including shootings in Menifee, California and Middletown, Pennsylvania.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since 1991, FCMS and
other members of the Supervised Visitation Network have understood that custody
exchanges of children, especially when there has been domestic violence or
child abuse, can be volatile and dangerous if precautions are not taken. When a
trained SV professional oversees a custody exchange, they prepare both parties
before exchanges begin to understand the safety protocols they put in place to
substantially reduce the risk of violence.
These exchange zones for merchandise should NOT be used as safe place to
exchange children, especially when there are safety risks are present.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While California does
not have any statutes or legislation governing how supervised exchange services
are provided and there is no license or certification for SV providers, ACME voluntarily
follows the SVN published minimum standards that address all aspects of the
provision of services, including a section on providing safety and security for
all participants. These standards are post at www.svnworldwide.org<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For more information
about FAMILY CARE MONITORING SERVICES, INC., PLEASE CALL (818) 780-7370<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you would like more
information about supervised exchange protocols and procedures, or to interview
SVN Executive Director Joe Nullet, dial (904) 419-7861.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-62173668637655502542015-10-15T13:05:00.000-07:002015-10-15T15:01:12.434-07:00Supervised Visitation Safe Zones<div>
In the last two decades, it is evident that we are using
technology at a faster pace than ever before. I remember only using the
internet to check email, research topics, and talk to friends two
decades ago. Today, We can use the internet to buy groceries, clothing,
gifts, trading services, etc. There are a myriad of services available
at our finge<span class="text_exposed_show">rtips when we are linked
into the internet. It seems that the internet has become an extension of
ourselves, as majority of people are constantly interacting with
technology, whether it be on a mobile phone, tablet, iPad, google
glasses or other convenient method. </span><br />
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<br />
With
the increase in online transactions, we want to remind you parents that
if you are looking for supervised visitation services, or custody
exchange services, please do your homework and research the individual
who you are entrusting the care and safety of your child to. We at
Family Care Monitoring Services, Inc. pride ourselves in having
experienced monitors that go through the somewhat time-intensive process
of registering with TrustLine and Livescan. This is a two step process
involving fingerprinting (done electronically) and then sending in an
application to Trustline Registry, a database of caregivers who have
cleared the criminal background checks in California.<br />
<br />
Many
parents believe that for custody exchanges, the most safest location is
at a police station, but many times the police officers at the station
have far more pressing issues to deal with such as homicides and other
various crimes and abuse. Many times we have encountered parents giving
us questionable looks when telling them that a police station is not the
best option for Visitation Exchanges. The reality is that they are not
knowledgeable in the Rules of Court , nor are they knowledgeable in the
Standards applicable to Supervised Visitation Monitoring or exchanges.<br />
<br />
If
you are in need of these services, please feel free to contact us at
your earliest convenience. Our Service Coordinator, Rusty, will be more
than happy to assist you in answering any questions you may have. </div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-67203844027014115552015-03-12T14:58:00.000-07:002015-10-15T15:01:54.897-07:00Child Abduction<div>
According to the Child Abduction Task Force, there are more than
200,000 child abductions each year nation-wide; a scarier statistic is
that of that total, an estimated 100 of those children are murdered each
year. The statistics through the Department of Justice state that "an
estimated 1,923 cases of family abduction and 49 cases of stranger abd<span class="text_exposed_show">uction
occur annually in California." Even though stranger abduction is
prevalent in our society today, majority of child abductions happen at
the hands of a family member.</span><br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<br />
<strong>Child Abduction</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
In
1996, The Amber Alert System was created to assist the police
department and United States Department of Justice to recover these
missing children. As of January 2014, approximately 679 children have
been safely recovered as a result of the Amber Alert System. There are
many resources available that can assist in locating, and sometimes
rehabilitating, these missing and/or abducted children, including the
Missing Children Investigative Agency (MCIA). The mission of MCIA is
"The safety, protection, and return of missing children." There are many
investigators, agents, and intelligence analysts in numerous cities
nationwide and internationally who help actively pursue and locate these
missing children. In addition to these investigators, there are many
non-investigative volunteers that help the community stay aware and
alert of missing children. These volunteers help with a variety of tasks
including: media relations, developing outreach programs, public
speaking, clerical work, including grant writing, fundraising, and case
management.<br />
<br />
If you have any children of your own, you can
only imagine how devastating it could be to realize that someone, maybe
even a familiar figure such as your ex-spouse, has taken your child away
from you. Many parents feel sadness, fear, guilt, anxiety, depression,
and anger revolving around their missing child. Parents have expressed
their emotions as, "we are living, breathing human beings enduring an
unbelievable hell on Earth." For these parents, it is important to keep
communication open at all times so they feel heard and understood. It is
also important that they have a strong support system to assist them in
their emotional roller coaster.<br />
<br />
There are a few factors
to take into consideration when establishing an abduction report. First
and foremost, a timeline of events needs to be established prior to the
abduction. To help identify the abductor, investigators need to
outline a list of known persons that the child knows. Other
considerations include age, culture, abduction method, length of time
missing, etc. As these factors are discovered, investigators can begin
canvasing the area to see if anyone has seen any suspicious activity or
have any knowledge pertaining to the child's whereabouts.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately,
there are a high percentage of girls that are abducted than boys, and
majority of those girls are victimized. This victimization includes
child abuse, including neglect, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and
sexual abuse. Child abduction envelops all of these categories, although
not every child who is abducted will experience those types of threats.
Child abuse is the physical, sexual, or emotional maltreatment of a
child. Maltreatment of a child includes any act(s) of commission or
omission of a parent or guardian that results in harm or potential
threat of harm to a child. Although children may exaggerate stories at
times, we should always take heed when a child says that they were
inappropriately touched by someone, whether or not it was another family
member or stranger.<br />
<br />
Of course as we have learned
ourselves growing up, the best way to maintain our safety growing up is
to maintain good parental vision of the child at all times. By helping
our children build the habit of talking to us about their problems, it
reinforces their safety and keeps communication open. It's also
important to teach them not to give out personal information and not to
talk to strangers if they are on their own. Teaching children to use the
buddy system also helps as abductors are less likely to snatch children
who are in pairs or groups instead of on their own. By roleplaying
different scenarios with your child on how to avoid and turn away from
these 'strangers', it teaches them a set of basic morals to live by to
keep them safe and stay out of harm's way. Another method to keep them
safe is to create a secret code word that only you, your child, and a
few select individuals know. As parents, it is a good idea to keep a
file that includes photographs of you, and all family members (kept
current and updated, especially whenever there's an appearance change); a
list of other parents addresses, phone numbers, email, vehicle make and
model (including color, vin, license plate, stickers, dents and any
other unusual features or distinguishing characteristics)<br />
<br />
To get more information on how you can volunteer or assist in locating missing children, you can visit <a href="http://www.kidfind.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.kidfind.org</a>, or contact MCIA hotline at (818) 663-3000. </div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-18239427352177068962014-06-15T12:57:00.000-07:002015-10-15T15:02:43.189-07:00Get Serious About Ending Child AbuseDue to the nature of type of services we provide, we keep some
important articles that we love sharing with our clientele. This
particular article was written by Sheila Boxley on April 29, 2014 in the
Daily News. We feel it is important to provide these articles so the
public can have a better understanding and realize that we need to stop
this pro<span class="text_exposed_show">blem from continuing. We need to
provide safeguards for our children and for our future generations of
children, and grandchildren. </span><br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<br />
<blockquote>
NEARLY
a half million children are reported abused or neglected in California
each year, with at least one child dying from that mistreatment every
day. In Los Angeles County alone, there were nearly 158,000 cases of
child abuse reported in 2009, and more than 37,000 in Orange County.<br />
Yet
under California law, child abuse is not classified as a "serious" or
"violent" crime. Neither is pimping a child for prostitution, nor using
them to make pornography. Unbelievable? Check the penal code.<br />
<br />
In
a state where voters passed an initiative three years ago protecting
the rights of farm animals, this codified disregard for the safety of
children is especially troubling. The sad truth is you're better off
abusing a child in California than hurting a chicken.<br />
<br />
If
we're serious about preventing child abuse, reclassifying it as a
serious and violent crime is an essential first step, which is
precisely what AB 1188 would do. The bill's author, Assemblyman Richard
Pan, is a pediatrician who has witnessed the terrible physical and
psychological damage suffered by children who have been abused, and
understands that its impact is far-reaching - for the victims and for
taxpayers.<br />
<br />
According to a study by the national Centers
for Disease Control, children who endure as few as four traumatic
experiences in their young lives are significantly more likely to go to
prison, be substance abusers, suffer chronic illnesses or commit
suicide as adults. As a state, we're spending billions of dollars every
year dealing with these sad consequences of child abuse.<br />
<br />
Overcrowded
prisons? Some 85 percent of California inmates were abused as
children, according to the California Attorney General's Office.
Substance abuse? Child abuse victims are 1,030 times more likely to
abuse drugs and 740 times more likely to abuse alcohol, according to
the Centers for Disease Control. The long-term health care costs
associated with child abuse are staggering. Victims are 160 times more
likely to be morbidly obese as adults, 220 times more likely to smoke
and 1,220 times more likely to commit suicide, which is why the center
calls child abuse this nation's No. 1 public health crisis. Moreover,
child abuse victims are significantly more likely to abuse their own
children or beat up their spouses.<br />
<br />
AB 1188 will help
break this destructive cycle by officially recognizing child abuse as
the serious crime it is. Under the bill, the following crimes would be
designated "serious" or "violent" felonies: physical child abuse;
assault resulting in the death of a child under 8; felony child abuse
likely to produce great bodily injury or death; persuading, luring or
transporting a minor under 13; and human trafficking. That these
horrific crimes are not now classified as "serious" or "violent" under
California law is incomprehensible.<br />
<br />
In a state where
homicide is the leading cause of injury death among children less than 1
year old, and where one child out of 20 is abused, it's time to let
the abusers, pornographers and child traffickers know that we're
serious about stopping them.</blockquote>
<br />
<em>Sheila Boxley is the president and CEO of the California-based Child Abuse Prevention Center</em></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-32942536139252771732014-01-15T14:55:00.000-08:002015-10-15T15:02:48.912-07:00Introducing Our ServicesWe at Family Care Monitoring Services and would like to take this
opportunity to introduce our services to you and the families you work
with, who are going through difficult custody situations. We provide
professional monitoring services with a family friendly approach to
custody visitations.<br />
<br />
What is supervised Visitation Monitoring? It is the con<span class="text_exposed_show">tact between the child and the non custodial parent in the presence of a neutral third party. This is who we are.</span><br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<br />
This
is what we do, we offer both on and off site visitation services
Monday-Sunday We service the San Fernando Valley, Southern Ventura, Los
Angeles, West-side, Redondo Beach, Santa Clarita, and San Gabriel
Valley areas, We offer multilingual monitors. Please call us for
additional information and availability. Supervised Visitation services
are available from 1 to 24 hour periods depending on the service request
and the Court order.<br />
<br />
We opened our doors in January of
2006. The owner of our company began providing Supervised Visitation
services in 1986, when this was a burgeoning field. Our current
referrals come from many of the seated family law Judges in Los Angeles,
San Gabriel Valley and Ventura Counties; Commissioner’s; Family Law
Practice Attorneys; Conciliation Courts; Department of Children
Services; Court Evaluators and private practice family Therapists. We
are members in good standing with the Supervised Visitation Network.
Our service evolves as we attend continuing education in the areas of
Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Drug and alcohol addiction, Abduction,
Report writing and the California Rules of Court Standard 5.20
pertaining specifically to Supervised Visitation Monitoring.<br />
<br />
We
at Family Care Monitoring Services make it our goal to provide a great
service with qualified personnel. We provide easy access for families to
utilize our services and treat each participant with respect and
dignity. We set effective boundaries upfront so all parties know where
our responsibility lies. We are here to ensure a safe meeting between
the children and the non-custodial parent or other visiting participant.
<br />
<br />
If you would like more information, please message us and we will assist you in the most efficient way possible.<br />
<br />
We look forward to speaking with you and your family.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7354608459669707680.post-36118136099307305942013-11-06T12:13:00.000-08:002016-09-06T12:14:21.235-07:00Changes in Rules of Court for Family Law<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Family Care Monitoring Services wants to bring to you the most
current information on the services we provide. As of 2013, a new California
Rule of Court 5.20 has been prepared. It was amended by Assembly Bill 1674,
both of which are included with this email. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Probably, the most significant change that we noted is the
language as to how we do our job. Previously the Standard 5.20 made strong
suggestions using “should” in the guidelines and now the term is “shall”. We
have always considered as to what we do is directed by the California Rules of
Court. We have our own rules and guidelines regarding how we run our business,
but we take very seriously the changes that have been made. It is our hope that we continue to provide the
continued quality of service that is expected of Supervised Visitation Monitors
and of Family Care Monitoring Services.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Monitoring can be a very emotional journey for all clients and
most especially the children involved in the conflict of divorce or separation.
Our job here at Family Care Monitoring Service, is to make an uncomfortable and
unpleasant experience into as pleasant and comfortable experience for as long
as the supervised visitation is in place. It is our hope that our visiting
parents, your clients will use this experience as a tool to understand and
strengthen their parenting skills; to really learn how to relate to their
children and how to keep their children out of the middle of their conflict
with the other parent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Supervised Visitation does not favor the affluent or working
class. It runs rampant all across the board no matter the ethnicity, the
educational status, the mental capacity or even how long they have been a
parent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">In the last ten years of my life, as an employee and part of the
staff of Family care Monitoring Services, I have crossed the paths with a multitude
of parents involved in supervised visitation. It has been my experience that
most parents having the requirement of monitoring are angry, confused, unsure,
stressed and resentful. Very seldom, will you find an amicable divorce
requiring monitoring, (it does happen), we see blame being passed back and
forth. Most monitoring is determined in the courtroom. Most times, the
monitored parent does not understand why they are being monitored. Although it
isn’t our job to tell them why they are being monitored, we will try to help
them understand what we do. There are two sides to every story and it is not
our job to take sides and support one or the other. It is our job to do what we
can to facilitate the visit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Setting Boundaries and the good parent:</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">What do children really want or even need? In my experience as a
prior Professional Nanny and a Professional Monitor and a Mother, I believe
that all children need love, structure and discipline, rules and boundaries, all
in a healthy balanced doses. It is my experience that Children who are allowed
to ‘Rule the Nest’ crave the need for structure and guidelines! Most of all
Children need security, stability and most of all LOVE! When a child is stuck
in the middle of an ugly custody dispute, a parent can’t always be the friend.
They need to be the parent. Sometimes that involves saying ‘NO’. It involves
being an adult and encouraging a relationship with the other parent. It
involves being supportive and listening to your children. Not putting your
thoughts in their heads. Don’t let your children be damaged by your own anger
and feelings. Not to say that your feelings aren’t important, but your children
don’t need the stress of dealing with your problems as well. You as the parent
must have your own boundaries with your children as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Suggestions for visitations</span></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Parents who come to the visits usually want to or need to bring
food/snacks for their children. We encourage all parents to bring healthy
nutritious food and not junk food. Additionally, it is very helpful if the
custodial parent might advise the non-custodial parent of any food allergies
that the children might have. Food can be an argumentative subject with
parents, who may not be amicable. This helps to stop friction in between
visits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Parents should plan activities in advance with off-site
visitations lasting more than a couple of hours. Have a main plan and perhaps a
couple of contingency plans in case of inclement weather or the child not
feeling well. If the child is old enough to participate in the planning, do
something that is age appropriate for the child. We know that visitations in
themselves are high ticket items, so if your child wants to go shopping, you
need to set guidelines in advance or find some other activity to do with the
child. A parent can find a lot of free and interesting activities to do with
their child on the internet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">On-site visitation is a little more difficult to plan activities.
If your children are school aged, help them with their homework, or show them
you support the activities they are involved in. Listen to your children. It
matters<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14pt;">We hope you find this information useful and that you might pass
it on to your clients. We look forward to working with you on your next case. If
you need additional information, we have access to many resources on different
subjects ranging from: Domestic Violence, Sexual abuse and child abduction,
grief, etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10502122507927491371noreply@blogger.com0